• Early labour can last hours. Sometimes a full day. This is the phase where most partners feel most helpless and that is exactly right. Your job is not to fix anything. It is to be present, calm, and practical.
• Keep her comfortable. Keep her fed and hydrated if she can manage it. Time the contractions if she wants you to. Let her lead.
• If she wants to talk, talk. If she wants silence, give her silence. Do not narrate what is happening or tell her how she is doing unless she asks.
• Call the hospital when contractions are regular, strong, and around five minutes apart lasting one minute each — or when she tells you it is time. Trust her read on her own body.

• Drop her at the entrance before you park if she cannot walk comfortably. Do not make her stand in a car park during contractions.
• Have the Medicare card and health fund details accessible at the top of the bag. Not buried. At the top.
• Know her birth preferences before you walk in. You may need to speak for her at moments when she cannot speak for herself. This is one of the most important things you can do.

Your job is not to manage her pain. It is to support her through it.

• During contractionsBe close. Breathe with her if she wants that. Some women want physical contact during contractions. Some do not want to be touched at all. Ask once early on and follow her lead. Do not ask during a contraction.
• Between contractionsShe may want to talk normally. She may want to rest. Let her set the pace. Use the space between contractions to get water, adjust pillows, check in quietly.
• You will feel helpless at moments. That feeling is normal and it does not mean you are doing it wrong. Staying present and calm through the difficult parts is genuinely useful even when it does not feel like it.

• The moment after birth is often overwhelming for the support person in a way that is not talked about. You may feel flooded, with relief, with emotion, with something that is hard to name. This is completely normal.
• Skin-to-skin can often happen immediately, sometimes with her, sometimes with you if she needs medical attention. Ask the midwife. Do not assume it cannot happen.
• Let the midwives do their work. Stay close to her. Take a photo if she wants one. Let the first hour be quiet if you can.

• Postpartum bleeding is heavy and normalLochia starts immediately and can last up to six weeks. It will be heavier than expected in the first days. Soaking more than one pad per hour for two consecutive hours is not normal — seek help immediately.
• Perineal discomfort is significantShe is using a peri bottle, ice pads, cooling liners and healing foam. Know what these products are and make sure they are stocked. Do not make her ask.
• The first bathroom visit is a big dealIn hospital and at home, fill the peri bottle with warm water before she gets up. Have it ready. This is one of the most practical things you can do.
• She will be exhausted in a way that is hard to describeNot tired. Exhausted. Your job is to handle everything you can so she does not have to.
• Recovery is not linearSome days will feel better than others. A harder day does not mean something is wrong.

• Own the logistics entirelyFood, washing, visitors, phone calls, messages. She should not be managing any of this. Do not ask what needs doing. Look around and do it.
• Protect her restRest directly affects recovery. Physical activity increases postpartum bleeding. Make rest the default, not the exception.
• Know the recovery routineEvery bathroom visit involves the peri bottle, underwear, ice pads, cooling liners and healing foam. Know where it all is. Have it stocked before it runs out. This is not her job to manage.
• Manage visitors yourselfYou are the one who ends the visit. You are the one who says it is time for her to rest. She should not have to do this. It is uncomfortable. Do it anyway.
• Book the pelvic floor physioAt two to three weeks postpartum, not six. Find the appointment, make the booking, add it to the calendar. Tell her it is done.

• Do not offer opinions on positioningUnless she asks. Do offer pillows, water, and your presence.
• Have water ready every single feedShe will be thirsty in a way that is difficult to anticipate. This is one of the most practical things you can do.
• Breastfeeding is painful at first for many womenThis is not a sign it is not working. Do not suggest alternatives unless she raises them.
• The midwife is the expertYour job is to make sure she can access that expertise without having to ask twice.

• You can do this feedThis is one of the most meaningful things available to you in the early weeks. A feed that is entirely yours to give.
• Learn how to make it up correctlyDo the night feed when you can. This is not helping her. This is parenting.
• In both cases — protect the spaceKeep it quiet. Keep visitors away during feeds until she says otherwise. An interrupted feed sets everything back.

• Persistent sadness or emptiness beyond the first two weeks
• Inability to bond with the baby
• Feeling like she is failing or that everyone would be better off without her
• Withdrawing from you and from people she is close to
• These are not signs of a bad mother. They are symptoms of an illness that is common, treatable, and nothing to push through alone.

• Irritability or anger that feels disproportionate
• Withdrawing from her and from the baby
• Working more than usual to avoid being at home
• Feeling disconnected or numb
• Anxiety about the baby’s health that does not ease with reassurance
• If either of you is struggling — say something. To each other first. To a GP next. To PANDA or Lifeline if you need to talk to someone today.

• Soaking more than one pad per hour for two or more consecutive hours, or passing clots larger than a 50-cent coin
• Fever, increasing pain, or unusual discharge or smell from any wound
• Increasing redness, heat, or swelling at the c-section incision site

• Dizziness, faintness, or rapid heart rate alongside heavy bleeding — CALL 000 IMMEDIATELY
• Signs of postnatal depression or anxiety in either of you — low mood, withdrawal, inability to cope. This is common and treatable. Do not wait.